Stag dos - men love them, women fear them. Why? Because women are never told exactly what goes on on them (unless they’re working in the bar/club/etc where the groom to be and his buddies are making fools of themselves), and the horror stories that appear in the news and films can put all sorts of ideas into peoples heads.
I know this is slightly sterotyped against the men, and I’m sure not every married man on the planet uses his stag do as an excuse to use his last night of freedom as an excuse to stray - but plenty do. And women do realise this. And yet men still don’t fess up to what they get up to - but women do. We’re happy to tell people that we went out, got dressed up, had such and such a theme, wen to this bar and that, saw a male stripper (or female - sometimes they’re more fun!) and detail the riplling muscles, play a couple of harmless games (yes, some may involve heavy flirting to win, but we know the line not to cross), etc.
But then the bride reasures the groom that he is the one for her, no matter what else is on offer out there.
The problem with men and stag dos, is that what they pay for in a club, they think they can take home. Women may pay for the entertainment at home, but understand having a man in the house that hogs the mirror and styling products more than she does, is a bad plan!
Maybe a wife couldn’t handle what her husband got upto on his stag do - but if she couldn’t, why did he do it?? And why would she marry him?
This has got to be one of the hardest decisions ever!
It is bad enough feeding family and friends when they pop round for tea, let alone feeding 50+ people, all of which probably like their dinners ‘just so’. How do you keep them all happy?!
Honest answer? Don’t.
Seriously. It is YOUR big day!! Order what you want people to share with you - yes they may grumble, but if they love and care about you (as they should if you are inviting them to your wedding) then they may mutter, but won’t really mind.
However, if you are one of those that prefers to keep the peace rather than take the risk of keeping yourself happy, then follow some hard n fast rules, and you can’t go wrong:
- do not over season anything - no spices especially
- make sure there is a veggie option
- make sure there is an alternative too fish & nut dishes (in case of allergies - and if you know someone in the party has a massive allergy to somethnig, warn the kitches - the smallest cross contamination can set some people off, and an A&E visit on your big day is the wrong kind of visit!)
- if there are any religious reasons for certain foods to be served or not served, check and plan for that accordingly
- try and avoid overly alcoholic tastes - some don’t like it
Just a couple of tips to help you out!
When picking the flowers for your wedding, simply having a wander through a flower shop and looking for inspiration, is not always a good idea. You may see plenty of flowers that fit in with the colour scheme of your big day, but does the bud tell the right story?
What I mean by this is that every flower has it’s own associated meaning. So when you are picking a yellow carnation for it’s simple but pretty colour, do you realise you are saying “you have disappointed me”?
Nope? Didn’t think so!
I was looking into the different meanings and saying as my Grandad told me about the yellow carnations (he’s a keen gardener, and my Grandma was a fan of all things “associated” - i.e. the meaning of stones, birthdays, names, etc).
I though the info was pretty good, so I’ve listed a brief few below - hope they help!
Carnation White - Innocence / Pure love
Carnation Yellow - You have disappointed me
Eucalyptus - Protection
Gladiolus - Generosity / Strength of character
Heather white/pink - Good luck
Holly - Good will
Iris - Wisdom / Eloquence
Ivy - Friendship / affection
Jasmine - Grace/ Elegance
Jonquil - Love me / Desire
Lavender - Devotion
Lilac - First love
Lily (Calla) - Beauty
Lily (White) - Purity
Lily of the Valley - Sweetness / Humility
Orchid - Love / Beauty
Rose Red - I love you / Passion
Rose White - Eternal love / Heavenly
Rose Yellow - Joy / Friendship
Rose Pink - Perfect happiness
Sunflower - Loyalty
Sweet Pea - Goodbye / Blissful pleasure
Tulip General - Declaration of love
Tulip Red - Believe me
Tulip Yellow - Hopeless love
Violet - Modesty
On a night out in town, 9 times out of 10 you will see at least one hen do on your travels between pubs. They often include skimpy outfits, and something that draws attention to the bride herself. It will more often than not involve bucket fulls of alcohol, and references to all the men the bride can no longer “have”.
Is it your idea of a good time?
Various Anne Summer’s “uniforms” being worn to attract the attention of men to the single hens, and the opportunity for the soon to be married hen to find out just how desireable she still is, before she is off the market for good.
I find it all quite tacky. Diminidhing themselves as sex objects, women on hen do’s tend to attract all the wrong attention for all the wrong reasons. And it rarely ends well. Hangovers and forgotten actions - never a good mix!
I recently saw a fairly tasteful hen do in Manchester - a soon-to-be farmer’s wife, and all her cows! It was brilliantly done, black t-shirts with white spots for the cows, all with black trousers with taiils and udders (washing up gloves blown up!), and masks that moo-ed. The “hen” herself was dressed as a farmer, complete with flat cap and muddy wellies - even the bouncers were surprised to see them! There wasn’t a short skirt or low cut top to be seen.
This kind of hen do reflected both what the “bride” was becoming, and that her friends wanted her to be comfortable and not on show for drunken men to grope at.
I liked it. Shame that most women (and men) find that the best way to celebrate an “end to single life” is to push the boundaries on their “last night of freedom”.
I think it should be a celebration of a freind commiting herself to someone she loves.
But I guess it depends on your point of view.
It means something very different to each person; to some it is a life long dream, and the only way to commit to the person you love, to others it is a pointless expense, to some a union of two families that will benefit both.
Religion obviously plays a key part in a persons perceptions and beliefs of marriage, and religion will obviously affect the ceremony itself.
(I won’t discuss each religions affect on the meaning of marriage, as it would take forever, and as I am not an expert on any religion, I do not wish to get it wrong!)
But generally speaking, all religions agrees that a marriage is a lifelong commitment between two people, who promise to remain together through both good times and bad.
However, to marry legally, you generally have to be of different genders, use the details from your original birth certificate, have witnesses, and bind yourself into a contract which is only breakable via the courts.
Is a marriage a legal or spiritual union?
Your wedding shoes and wedding dress above everything should complement each other. This doesn’t mean to say that you have to have them matching exactly. Most dresses will come in neutral shades of white, ivory or cream, though you do get more vibrant shades, bold colours or metallic colours and can become their own individual feature of your wedding attire. No matter what you do you’re ready for some major shoe shopping once you know the style, colour and fabric. To be ideal you will have a swatch from your wedding dress ready for when you do shoe shopping in order to have the colours perfectly matched. You could also have shoes bought especially that are ready to be professionally dyed. If you are to have your dress made and fitted by a dressmaker it is very important that you take along your shoes, this way your dress will be made to fit your shoes, and the hemline will be the correct length. It’s best to pair up simple shoes with an extravagant dress and vice versa. Take into consideration the length of your dress the shorter the dress the more of your shoes will be on display and things like ankle straps may look good but then can also make your legs look shorter.
At the Reception, your reception will most likely begin with the receiving line, this is a great opportunity to take the time to say a few words of thanks to all your guests and it will give you time to relax as you are wished well by all you happy, smiling guests and family. Many people say that they forget they find it hard to remember their wedding day it goes so fast, an idea for you to remember it is to ask someone to set an alarm to go off every hour to help remind you to take a good look around and take in your surroundings. Also it’s a special day that is shared, so talk about what your partner has seen, heard and felt throughout the day it will bring it all back. Another way to help you remember things, is to relax enjoy yourself and laugh, the laughs are always memorable, even incidents quips and near disasters will be remembered for the laughs. Don’t drink too much either; drinks can dull the mind so for a lasting memory of the big day remember to at least pace yourself, with the drinks. Toasts can become a great excuse for drinking champagne, but don’t sip it drink it.
At the Ceremony, the big moment is finally here, rehearsals are long gone and you’re the star of the show, and now it’s time for that Oscar winning performance. Take your time to make your entrance; every bride will have nerves taking that long walk that seems like a lifetime towards her handsome husband to be, a deep breath may sound cliché but it works, and it allows your guests time to admire you as well as giving you chance to compose yourself. Look around you, let that smile radiate out to everyone. Something that tends to happen or not happen as it were is that when people get to the vows nothing happens, breathing is a key part in preventing this from happening a key stress stopper. You may have seen all those videos of brides passing out at this point and you’re going spare about it happening to you. Well don’t, it rarely happens. Remember to feel supported by your guests and not to feel burdened everyone has come to wish you and your partner the very best. If it all gets emotional don’t be embarrassed to shed a couple of tears, just avoid the Niagara falls, and remember to wear waterproof mascara.
The Wedding Eve is equally as important as the wedding day, this is a great time to make preparations for your big day make a time table of all the things you’ll need to do and follow it. The last thing you’ll be wanting is a hangover in the morning so it’s best to avoid any alcohol in excess though one for medicinal purposes is accepted though, and most importantly make sure you get to bed at a reasonable time.
The Morning of the wedding can be very stressful, so be sure to start the day calmly, slowly allow yourself to take in as much of the events to follow as you can. Take plenty of time to have a great soak in a bath, with a cup of tea, undisturbed. Make sure you eat breakfast, even if you do have a dodgy stomach, that’s doing somersaults, even if it’s just a slice of toast fainting from hunger would be much worth. Take a few moments before the motions begin and just have a think about what lies ahead. Try to keep your distance during your preparation of the day from anyone whom you may find stressful, to keep them out of your hair try giving them minor jobs that will make them feel important.
Try not to over think things. Try not to rethink things over and over, once you’ve made a decision. This is believed to lead to bridal craziness, wondering whether they’ve made the right choice and it will all work out and go to plan worry about anything going wrong, as hard as it may be to make the decision, once it’s done it’s done tick it off the list and move on. The best kind of schedule is the one thing at a time schedule, don’t multi task, give yourself at least 15 minutes to tackle each item on your wedding list, and then tackle each one individually. You won’t find yourself overwhelmed if you allow yourself to focus on just one task at a time. A lot of brides often believe that they can do everything and refuse to ask for any help with anything, but the truth of the matter is don’t try to be superwoman there are tones of people who would rush at the chance of helping you. I’ve heard it all before from, it’s cheaper to its more fun doing it myself, but it can become a stressful time and it’s a time you want to look back on with joy and why not let your friends and family in on this fun and enjoyment? After all planning a planning a wedding takes in access of 240 hours altogether.