Tonight me and my boyfriend are going over to his cousin’s to congratulate them on their recent engagement, especially as my boyfriend is going to be his cousin’s best man. However, we are faced with huge dilemma of what to take with us as an engagement present. At the moment they live in a fully furnished 2 bedroom flat so there is nothing we can really buy them for their flat as it is pretty full of stuff. We have decided on a John Lewis voucher but it just seems so impersonal to buy them a voucher, especially as the groom is my boyfriend’s cousin, I feel we should buy them something more sentimental. But now that we have the dilemma of how much to spend on them, I am totally unaware what the engagement amount should be?! Obviously we don’t want to spend too little as they are his family but with the wedding, accommodation, hen and stag do’s, plus the wedding presents, it soon adds up to a lot of money! Oh decisions, decisions!!

I was recently bridesmaid for one of my best friends which was such a fantastic honour, when she asked me to be her bridesmaid I was so excited about being involved in her wedding and helping her plan her big day. However, I was not prepared for the fact that I actually would not be involved in any aspect of her wedding.  My friend suddenly became very secretive about every aspect of her wedding, claiming that it was tradition for her to plan everything and not tell anyone else about it. When me and her three other bridesmaids went for our first dress fitting we were all told that we were not allowed to tell anyone the colour of our dresses or the style of our dresses. When I asked my friend if I could take a photo on my phone to show my mum (as she was not invited the wedding) my friend went mad, saying that everything had to be kept a secret. Obviously we were not allowed to see her wedding dress or even know what colour it was. As her bridesmaid I felt quite left out and I think that it is important for the bridesmaids to be involved.

So you have your dress all sorted for your big day, you have chosen the bridesmaid dresses too, you’ve picked out your shoes (that you know will kill you by the end of the night) and the bridesmaids have their shoes sorted too but there is just something missing - the accessories!

It is often the little finishing touches that will decide whether or not a dress is stunning or just ‘nice’. A friend of mine had chosen her own jewellery but she could not find anything that would match the bridesmaid dresses as she has picked a colour that matched nothing. Eventually she found the necklaces that she knew would be perfect for the bridesmaid dresses but unfortunately the shop only had 1 necklace in stock and she had four bridesmaids! So just a week and a half before the wedding she found the necklaces online and ordered them from America. She was panicking when 2 days before the wedding they still hadn’t arrived then just 1 day before the wedding they arrived and looked stunning.

My advice is to treat the accessories with the same importance as the dresses themselves as they will both be on show and in all the photos from your big day.

A friend of mine very recently got proposed to on a week holiday in Ireland. They had booked a lovely hotel in the Irish countryside and she thought that they were just going over to Ireland to visit his family. Then 2 days into the holiday, after a beautiful meal in a local restaurant, he got down on one knee and proposed! He had the ring ready, he was clearly optimistic that she would say yes. Luckily she did say yes and they are now busy arranging a wedding for 18 months time.

But this got me thinking - what would make the perfect proposal?

Another friend of mine was proposed to in a restaurant in the Lake District, which sound romantic but when you consider that they live in the Lake District anyway and it was in front of room of strangers who were all trying to eat their dinner, it turns into a nightmare! For me this would be the worse way to be proposed it, as I think it needs to be personal and private between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. For me the wedding is the social celebration of your love and the proposal is a personal moment between the two people involved.

One of my biggest worries for the big day is whether or not it will be a lovely sunny day or a typically British wet, gray day. I did consider getting married abroad purely for the fact that you are guaranteed lovely sunny, hot weather but the logistics and the cost of getting my family and my fiance’s family somewhere nice and hot was going to be a nightmare so instead I have taken a massive risk and opted for a UK wedding instead.

A friend of mine recently got married in the , she picked the venue specifically because of the beautiful grounds and the stunning lake at the bottom. The grounds were going to be the basis for the majority of all her photographs but in typical British style, it rained on her bug day! It had been pouring down for several weeks before her wedding so the ground was completely drenched which completely ruined my shoes, which had been specially dyed to match my dress. Luckily she did managed to get a few photos in the grounds as the rain held off for about half an hour but we were all cold and a bit damp when we got back to the champagne, but it didn’t spoil what was one of the best days of last year, and for my friend was the best day of her life.

I have my fingers and toes crossed that the rain holds off on my big day but if it doesn’t who cares, so long as everyone has a great day!

Do you go for the traditional? The wacky? The weird? The safe? Or do you just go with the flow and get it over with?!

Either way, there are thousands of options out there. And in this day and age, you are only limited by your imagination, and wallet (and that can often be gotten around - nice bank manger, or willing newspaper can often swell the coffers of most “Wedding Fund” accounts).

So, what to choose?

I think I’d like to keep it simple. A slight “hippy” feel - in the great outdoors, maybe a hillside or field in the lovely Lake District, with a simple floaty dress, flowers in my hair, just a small gathering of friends and family, and then back to the homestead for a BBQ and marquee (in case of rain).

From the outside, quite cheap. But the marquee, field rental, willing registrar to go to the great outdoors, getting friends and family to walk to your wedding… all mounts up!

But what a day - sharing something you love, with those you love, and making the day truely yours. None of this “I want the same as Mrs Jones’ youngest had” - you get a day that tells people exactly who you are, and those that love you for you, will be happy to share in it.
Overly complicated days can drag and feel exactly the same as the wedding your friends went to last month. Stand out from the crowd - make your wedding theme your own!

The next Big Question (after the proposal!) - where to have the Big Day?

Church? Hotel? Village Hall? Field? Underwater? Jumping from a plane? The list is now endless! ONce upon a time, the only option you had was a church or a registry office.

Now you can go anywhere (as long as you have someone willing enough to perform the ceremony itself!). The newspapers and magazines are full of crazy vicars and registrars that help happy couples have a memorable wedding day.

As long as they sort out the paperwork (and their is lots!), you can pretty much get married in a bin at the end of your road if you fancy it.
That doesn’t sound to much fun to me, but I’m willing to bet there is someone out there that would!

I like the idea of getting hitched somewhere meaningful - a favourite walk, or where you met, or somewhere your favourite but frail Granny can get too easily. I’m not a big fan of gimmicks, but then again, if you can’t afford to get married in the style you really want, and doing something nutty will get you in the papers and get some money towards it, then why the heck not?!

Yes, you’re selling your big day to all the world to see, but the ultimate goal - getting hitched - is still achieved. And surely that is all that matters.

Some people send out wedding lists, some ask for cash - but what should you get for those you care about?

Well, the last wedding I went to, we gave them cash. Why? Because they were already living together, and had everything “housey” that they needed - no toasters or curtains or coasters required!

It is a bit impersonal, but I made it special by getting a £50 note (a new and unused on, and they look pretty cool), popping it in a gift box, and asking them to let me know what they spent it on.

Couple of weeks after the wedding, just befpre they go on honeymoon, they send me a nice card, telling me they used it to finish off paying for their honeymoon - 2 weeks in Canada. Lovely.

So, my gift, combined with other friends and familys gifts of money, combined to give the happy couple a financially good start - they didn’t have to take a loan for the honeymoon, it got paid in full before they went.

It’s what wedding gifts were originally all about - getting the young couple the things they need to get on their feet.
They have the house etc, so helping them keep out of debt is surely the modern gift?

Meeting someone, getting to know them, getting together, falling in love, deciding to get married, engagement, planning the wedding, then the wedding, then the happily ever after.

This is the standard relationship patter, deviations happen occuring to individuals, but (for the majority) this is what people want and expect.

So what happens when your carefully (and expensive) plans start to fall apart?
Do you keep at it and hope it will come together eventually?
Or do yo ucut your losses and run, hoping to find it again but with a more reliable source?

I personally, would cut and run. If you’re on the marriage trail, and your partner starts to indicate, in any way, that they do not view it in the same way you do, then obviously it’s not the right path for you to take together.

Why am I rambling about this?

Well, a friend of mine has been with her boyfriend/fiance for nearly 3 years now - they rented together, and they were approved a joint morgeage (they were going to buy after the wedding - lucky thing considering! read on to find out why…), they had similar friends but had happy nights out/in with other friends, so on and so forth. They seemed to work.

Then two weeks before the wedding (which would have been in March), she found him in bed with another woman - her bridesmaid in fact!

Did she go nuts, yes.

Did he bbeg forgiveness, kinda.

Did she forgive him and the bridesmaid? YES!!

Damn silly thing to do. She forgave them both, pretended it never happened, and skipped happily off down the aisle, her Daddy paying for everything.

The night before the wedding, he called it off - and she still wonders why!!!

I can honestly say, this is an extreme situation - but who the hell would forgive their partner for this kind of betrayal? And the excuse that “we were getting married in two weeks, I can’t cancel it now!” - erm, yes you can! And should! He’s cheating on you now, that won’t change just because you get a ring on him.

Marriage is not an easy decision, it is a lifelong commitment, and if the run up to it isn’t going smoothly, then perhaps the marriage itself won’t either.
Be honest, get out when you can, and when you should.

The film was released in early 2009, and portrayed how two best friends reactions to having their big day on the same day - i.e. they fell apart bickering and backstabbing and trying to out-do the other, but ultimately came together at the end.

Aww!

No matter how sickly sweet the story is, I was wondering if two friends could actually pull it off - having a joint wedding. I have never met a single person that did, although I occaisionally come accross one or two aricles about shared weddings in the magazines my mother reads.

Financially, they do appeal, especially if you share the same friends. But when it comes to standing centre stage, I do not think anyone would really want to share, no matter what the savings.

And I disagree! I’ve seen wedding costs spiral totally out of control - why would people spend £15,000 on ONE DAY?!?! I understand it is a drea, day, but the lifetime you get with someone should be the real dream - and that £15k could be much better spent on a house or debts, or whatever else would make your lives together more comfortable.

I’d share my wedding day (with a normal friend, no bunnys!), and spend the savingsg on living happily ever after.