A friend of mine very recently got proposed to on a week holiday in Ireland. They had booked a lovely hotel in the Irish countryside and she thought that they were just going over to Ireland to visit his family. Then 2 days into the holiday, after a beautiful meal in a local restaurant, he got down on one knee and proposed! He had the ring ready, he was clearly optimistic that she would say yes. Luckily she did say yes and they are now busy arranging a wedding for 18 months time.

But this got me thinking - what would make the perfect proposal?

Another friend of mine was proposed to in a restaurant in the Lake District, which sound romantic but when you consider that they live in the Lake District anyway and it was in front of room of strangers who were all trying to eat their dinner, it turns into a nightmare! For me this would be the worse way to be proposed it, as I think it needs to be personal and private between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. For me the wedding is the social celebration of your love and the proposal is a personal moment between the two people involved.

One of my biggest worries for the big day is whether or not it will be a lovely sunny day or a typically British wet, gray day. I did consider getting married abroad purely for the fact that you are guaranteed lovely sunny, hot weather but the logistics and the cost of getting my family and my fiance’s family somewhere nice and hot was going to be a nightmare so instead I have taken a massive risk and opted for a UK wedding instead.

A friend of mine recently got married in the , she picked the venue specifically because of the beautiful grounds and the stunning lake at the bottom. The grounds were going to be the basis for the majority of all her photographs but in typical British style, it rained on her bug day! It had been pouring down for several weeks before her wedding so the ground was completely drenched which completely ruined my shoes, which had been specially dyed to match my dress. Luckily she did managed to get a few photos in the grounds as the rain held off for about half an hour but we were all cold and a bit damp when we got back to the champagne, but it didn’t spoil what was one of the best days of last year, and for my friend was the best day of her life.

I have my fingers and toes crossed that the rain holds off on my big day but if it doesn’t who cares, so long as everyone has a great day!

Do you go for the traditional? The wacky? The weird? The safe? Or do you just go with the flow and get it over with?!

Either way, there are thousands of options out there. And in this day and age, you are only limited by your imagination, and wallet (and that can often be gotten around - nice bank manger, or willing newspaper can often swell the coffers of most “Wedding Fund” accounts).

So, what to choose?

I think I’d like to keep it simple. A slight “hippy” feel - in the great outdoors, maybe a hillside or field in the lovely Lake District, with a simple floaty dress, flowers in my hair, just a small gathering of friends and family, and then back to the homestead for a BBQ and marquee (in case of rain).

From the outside, quite cheap. But the marquee, field rental, willing registrar to go to the great outdoors, getting friends and family to walk to your wedding… all mounts up!

But what a day - sharing something you love, with those you love, and making the day truely yours. None of this “I want the same as Mrs Jones’ youngest had” - you get a day that tells people exactly who you are, and those that love you for you, will be happy to share in it.
Overly complicated days can drag and feel exactly the same as the wedding your friends went to last month. Stand out from the crowd - make your wedding theme your own!

The next Big Question (after the proposal!) - where to have the Big Day?

Church? Hotel? Village Hall? Field? Underwater? Jumping from a plane? The list is now endless! ONce upon a time, the only option you had was a church or a registry office.

Now you can go anywhere (as long as you have someone willing enough to perform the ceremony itself!). The newspapers and magazines are full of crazy vicars and registrars that help happy couples have a memorable wedding day.

As long as they sort out the paperwork (and their is lots!), you can pretty much get married in a bin at the end of your road if you fancy it.
That doesn’t sound to much fun to me, but I’m willing to bet there is someone out there that would!

I like the idea of getting hitched somewhere meaningful - a favourite walk, or where you met, or somewhere your favourite but frail Granny can get too easily. I’m not a big fan of gimmicks, but then again, if you can’t afford to get married in the style you really want, and doing something nutty will get you in the papers and get some money towards it, then why the heck not?!

Yes, you’re selling your big day to all the world to see, but the ultimate goal - getting hitched - is still achieved. And surely that is all that matters.

Some people send out wedding lists, some ask for cash - but what should you get for those you care about?

Well, the last wedding I went to, we gave them cash. Why? Because they were already living together, and had everything “housey” that they needed - no toasters or curtains or coasters required!

It is a bit impersonal, but I made it special by getting a £50 note (a new and unused on, and they look pretty cool), popping it in a gift box, and asking them to let me know what they spent it on.

Couple of weeks after the wedding, just befpre they go on honeymoon, they send me a nice card, telling me they used it to finish off paying for their honeymoon - 2 weeks in Canada. Lovely.

So, my gift, combined with other friends and familys gifts of money, combined to give the happy couple a financially good start - they didn’t have to take a loan for the honeymoon, it got paid in full before they went.

It’s what wedding gifts were originally all about - getting the young couple the things they need to get on their feet.
They have the house etc, so helping them keep out of debt is surely the modern gift?

Meeting someone, getting to know them, getting together, falling in love, deciding to get married, engagement, planning the wedding, then the wedding, then the happily ever after.

This is the standard relationship patter, deviations happen occuring to individuals, but (for the majority) this is what people want and expect.

So what happens when your carefully (and expensive) plans start to fall apart?
Do you keep at it and hope it will come together eventually?
Or do yo ucut your losses and run, hoping to find it again but with a more reliable source?

I personally, would cut and run. If you’re on the marriage trail, and your partner starts to indicate, in any way, that they do not view it in the same way you do, then obviously it’s not the right path for you to take together.

Why am I rambling about this?

Well, a friend of mine has been with her boyfriend/fiance for nearly 3 years now - they rented together, and they were approved a joint morgeage (they were going to buy after the wedding - lucky thing considering! read on to find out why…), they had similar friends but had happy nights out/in with other friends, so on and so forth. They seemed to work.

Then two weeks before the wedding (which would have been in March), she found him in bed with another woman - her bridesmaid in fact!

Did she go nuts, yes.

Did he bbeg forgiveness, kinda.

Did she forgive him and the bridesmaid? YES!!

Damn silly thing to do. She forgave them both, pretended it never happened, and skipped happily off down the aisle, her Daddy paying for everything.

The night before the wedding, he called it off - and she still wonders why!!!

I can honestly say, this is an extreme situation - but who the hell would forgive their partner for this kind of betrayal? And the excuse that “we were getting married in two weeks, I can’t cancel it now!” - erm, yes you can! And should! He’s cheating on you now, that won’t change just because you get a ring on him.

Marriage is not an easy decision, it is a lifelong commitment, and if the run up to it isn’t going smoothly, then perhaps the marriage itself won’t either.
Be honest, get out when you can, and when you should.

The film was released in early 2009, and portrayed how two best friends reactions to having their big day on the same day - i.e. they fell apart bickering and backstabbing and trying to out-do the other, but ultimately came together at the end.

Aww!

No matter how sickly sweet the story is, I was wondering if two friends could actually pull it off - having a joint wedding. I have never met a single person that did, although I occaisionally come accross one or two aricles about shared weddings in the magazines my mother reads.

Financially, they do appeal, especially if you share the same friends. But when it comes to standing centre stage, I do not think anyone would really want to share, no matter what the savings.

And I disagree! I’ve seen wedding costs spiral totally out of control - why would people spend £15,000 on ONE DAY?!?! I understand it is a drea, day, but the lifetime you get with someone should be the real dream - and that £15k could be much better spent on a house or debts, or whatever else would make your lives together more comfortable.

I’d share my wedding day (with a normal friend, no bunnys!), and spend the savingsg on living happily ever after.

Stag dos - men love them, women fear them. Why? Because women are never told exactly what goes on on them (unless they’re working in the bar/club/etc where the groom to be and his buddies are making fools of themselves), and the horror stories that appear in the news and films can put all sorts of ideas into peoples heads.

I know this is slightly sterotyped against the men, and I’m sure not every married man on the planet uses his stag do as an excuse to use his last night of freedom as an excuse to stray - but plenty do.  And women do realise this. And yet men still don’t fess up to what they get up to - but women do. We’re happy to tell people that we went out, got dressed up, had such and such a theme, wen to this bar and that, saw a male stripper (or female - sometimes they’re more fun!) and detail the riplling muscles, play a couple of harmless games (yes, some may involve heavy flirting to win, but we know the line not to cross), etc.

But then the bride reasures the groom that he is the one for her, no matter what else is on offer out there.

The problem with men and stag dos, is that what they pay for in a club, they think they can take home. Women may pay for the entertainment at home, but understand having a man in the house that hogs the mirror and styling products more than she does, is a bad plan!

Maybe a wife couldn’t handle what her husband got upto on his stag do - but if she couldn’t, why did he do it?? And why would she marry him?

This has got to be one of the hardest decisions ever!

It is bad enough feeding family and friends when they pop round for tea, let alone feeding 50+ people, all of which probably like their dinners ‘just so’. How do you keep them all happy?!

Honest answer? Don’t.

Seriously. It is YOUR big day!! Order what you want people to share with you - yes they may grumble, but if they love and care about you (as they should if you are inviting them to your wedding) then they may mutter, but won’t really mind.

However, if you are one of those that prefers to keep the peace rather than take the risk of keeping yourself happy, then follow some hard n fast rules, and you can’t go wrong:

• do not over season anything - no spices especially
• make sure there is a veggie option
• make sure there is an alternative too fish & nut dishes (in case of allergies - and if you know someone in the party has a massive allergy to somethnig, warn the kitches - the smallest cross contamination can set some people off, and an A&E visit on your big day is the wrong kind of visit!)
• if there are any religious reasons for certain foods to be served or not served, check and plan for that accordingly
• try and avoid overly alcoholic tastes - some don’t like it

Just a couple of tips to help you out!

When picking the flowers for your wedding, simply having a wander through a flower shop and looking for inspiration, is not always a good idea. You may see plenty of flowers that fit in with the colour scheme of your big day, but does the bud tell the right story?

What I mean by this is that every flower has it’s own associated meaning. So when you are picking a yellow carnation for it’s simple but pretty colour, do you realise you are saying “you have disappointed me”?

Nope? Didn’t think so!

I was looking into the different meanings and saying as my Grandad told me about the yellow carnations (he’s a keen gardener, and my Grandma was a fan of all things “associated” - i.e. the meaning of stones, birthdays, names, etc).

I though the info was pretty good, so I’ve listed a brief few below - hope they help!

Carnation White - Innocence / Pure love
Carnation Yellow - You have disappointed me
Eucalyptus - Protection
Gladiolus - Generosity / Strength of character
Heather white/pink - Good luck
Holly - Good will
Iris - Wisdom / Eloquence
Ivy - Friendship / affection
Jasmine - Grace/ Elegance
Jonquil - Love me / Desire
Lavender - Devotion
Lilac - First love
Lily (Calla) - Beauty
Lily (White) - Purity
Lily of the Valley - Sweetness / Humility
Orchid - Love / Beauty
Rose Red - I love you / Passion
Rose White - Eternal love / Heavenly
Rose Yellow - Joy / Friendship
Rose Pink - Perfect happiness
Sunflower - Loyalty
Sweet Pea - Goodbye / Blissful pleasure
Tulip General - Declaration of love
Tulip Red - Believe me
Tulip Yellow - Hopeless love
Violet - Modesty